My heart aches so much today, even though I knew this moment would come one day eventually. Today is the day is the day that I've decided to end the suffering of my dear baby, Bok. I've started noticing her limping and gradual weight loss last year in the summer. It wasn't until Feb 2013, five months ago, when I took her in for a blood test and found out she was diagnosed with Lymphoma. We opted out of chemotherapy for hospice care. She was on anti-inflammatory and pain meds. The medications helped her with pain and increased her appetite tremendously. That really helped her with weight maintenance, although she was slowly getting weaker. Progressively, she could not get up by herself when she lays down. She was still drinking, peeing, and defecating just fine.
I started taking care of her on the weekdays starting in March. My family has moved into a new place, and she wasn't getting use to her surrounding. Without carpet, Bok would fall and struggle to get up for hours until my aunt comes home, which usually results with scarring her cheeks. My flexible work schedule allowed me to take care of her, prevent her from falling and scrape her cheeks. For the past couple months, I've only left Bok unattended for no more than 3-4 hours. With a help with a few friends, I was able to accomplish that. She was so fortunate to come to work with me at times. We even road through the city dropping off boxes. I have to admit she was not the best passenger I've driven. Like a worm, she moves constantly. Perhaps, she did not enjoy my driving!
Going back to the very early days. Ruby, who passed away 2 months ago, came to our life in August 1997. Bok, Oh, and two other siblings were born on October 9, 1997. They were the cutest little piglets when they were born. They fitted right in between both of my palms. Each of us chose a puppy. Oh was uncle Kirby's, Bok was mine, their siblings belonged to my aunt Quyen and uncle Bao. The reason I chose Bok because she was the biggest and fattest. We gave Bok away at one point to my aunt's friend for a couple days, but later was returned to us.
For the last 1/3 of Bok's life, me and Alex tried our best to make all of them happy! We would go to Fort Funston every week with 5 dogs. We even traveled with the five monsters to Sausalito and San Luise Obispo (for engagement) pictures! They were so happy and thankful. Eventually, we stopped going there because Boba passed away, but Bok also had trouble walking. She was the healthiest of all three, but her health deteriorates quickly for the past year. She started with having trouble walking, then walked in circles, then inability to walk much.
UPDATE: 8/12/13
The decision had to be made, and today was the day. It started when she had dark tarry diarrhea stool on Thursday, which continued until Sunday night. She also did not have any appetite or could sit on her own. Monday around 2:00 AM, Bok would continue to howl and whimpers throughout the night until the morning. Even with pain medication, she was still miserable. I knew that I had to do something to end her suffering. I brought her to the doctor with the intention to free her pain. The whole process was painless and quick. It was just like she fell asleep in my arms forever. I wrapped her in my favorite blanket and had a flower that I bought from Hawaii with messages. I know I made the right decision for my baby. She is pain-free and can run at the rainbow bridge with other dogs. One day we will meet again. Good bye for now, Bok.
No comments:
Post a Comment